Facebook was being annoying, and it made all of my tagged photos viewable to everyone. So, in an attempt to figure out how to fix that, I ended up going back down memory lane. And though I know now, it's been two years since we left, two years since I've had to readjust to 'real life', and though most days, I don't think about Italy anymore, sometimes, on nights like this one, when I'll come across a photograph, or a moment I'd forgotten, I find, I miss the city, and I miss you, as if it were yesterday.

"So what if I didn't have a girlfriend? Would it be different?"

We'd noticed him. Picked through the guys, noting the cute ones, calling dibs, as if we were younger than we were. Of course, the good one, the one we didn't notice till later 'cause he didn't say much, only smiling on occasion, was often wrapped up on the phone with his girlfriend.  

Some people think nothing good happens after 2 a.m., I think, sometimes the most interesting things happen in the depth of night, whether we're inebriated or not, there's something about the late hours that sometimes makes us do things we wouldn't otherwise do. "I don't even know you," he'd said, as if that fact had just occurred to him, midway through his speech on how we should be together. We were standing in the kitchen, and he was still talking, spilling details, thoughts, he'd probably groan about in the morning. I couldn't really believe what I was hearing, or that this was actually happening. "Say this to me again, when you're not drunk." "I know you keep saying I'm drunk, but I'm not," he said, explaining the last beer he had was at some odd hour, but he was because he never spoke that much, and I couldn't figure out how he'd gotten here. A fight with the girlfriend? One too many shots? "Okay, say that I am drunk, and I know people would say differently, but it's then, when people are the most honest, when they say how they really feel." And on other occasion, I'd given that exact same speech. But now, I knew better. Sure, we may say exactly what we feel, in that moment, or what we may have been thinking, a thought that once crossed our minds, exacerbated by the liquor, the booze, but if we can't act on those feelings, thoughts in the sober light of day, then they don't really hold any weight. Unless, we're living our lives drunk. "So what if I didn't have a girlfriend? Would it be different?" Rule #7 Don't get into an affair with a man who's already taken. Especially if you're insecure to begin with because even if you 'win' him in the end, you'll end up wondering through the course of your relationship if he really will be faithful to you. "I was surprised when they said you were Viet." He'd paid attention. He'd kissed me on the forehead. And I wondered, why guys did that. And in the sober light of day, none of it stuck, but for that moment, even though it was in inebriation, I'm not sure I've ever had someone so insistent, in that way, to be with me, when he didn't even know me. And maybe it meant nothing, maybe it was only a passing thought he once had, but I thank you, anyway.

don't be fooled

Miguel: you're psychologically insane.

Mike: kim i feel like in real life you are a much more upbeat person
Mike: and for some reason online you are as blue as they come

on parents and adulthood

K: my dad was arrested last week.
C: my dad could have been arrested last week too! why was he?
K: cause he was out drinking ....but he was waiting outside fro my mom to pick him up. and he was drunk. so cops asked him questions i guess... and he didn't cooperate so they arrested him. for drunk in public, resisiting arrest AND threatening to kill an officer. i was like DAD serously
he was like 'i was drunk'
C: my dad could have been arrested because he went to abar on a THURSDAY night.. got so drunk that he called my sister to pick him up, and she found in lying on the ground in the middle of a parking lot
K: you would think. in their adult age. is that going to be us in 25 years

C: i hope not. you'd think we could get a grasp on how to drink responsibly by then. probably not though. i wonder if i will ever procreate.
K: hahahah

i have such small hips

i dont know how i'll get one out

and then raising it

omggg

i can't even raise myself

we're so poor

how would we find enough money

we'd have to put it in a box house

Why we're friends.