Rough draft.

I hadn't seen you in months. The last time I had been back to visit after graduation, I hadn't had the time to drop by. Rather, it was too much trouble for me. Now it was Spring. Almost a year after we had donned that cap and gown, done the whole dance, and received that diploma that was supposed to have meant something. We were grown up. At least, that's what we were told. But hell, somehow it didn't feel that much different.

"You got a boyfriend or anything these days?" He asked sitting down on the sidewalk beside me, his bottle clinking against the pavement.
"No. I've been hanging out with this guy, but he's kinda intolerable," I said. "Kind of reminds me of you actually."
"Cause I'm intolerable?"
"Nah. Cause he's kind of depressing, and sort of an asshole. I don't even know why I'm hanging out with him actually. He's got this self-deprecating thing going on."
"I see the resemblance already," he said wryly. "So why are you hanging out with this kid?"
"It's actually kind of depressing," I admitted. "I'm not sure why I'm hanging out with him. He's never going to matter. Maybe that's why."
"What's sad is I remind you of an asshole."
I laughed. "You know that's not what I meant. You're gonna end up breaking that bottle."
"Don't worry. I got it. I'm not that drunk yet," he replied. "So what's with you and assholes?"
"What do you mean?"
"That one night you came over, and you were crying over that frat boy."

"Why are you here?" he had asked me.
I couldn't answer then because I couldn't understand why he was asking me this question.
"Because I didn't have anywhere else to go." It was a lame reply.
"That's not true," he'd said, shaking his head.
And it wasn't.

"God I miss this place sometimes," I said.




I borrowed this CD from your car a few years ago, and of course I still have it...somewhere. You'd dropped me off at my apartment after class, and it had been one of those hot, completely beautiful spring days.